How to Be That Old Couple In the Park

My previous post shared some tips on staying married, becoming that cute old couple walking hand in hand in the park. Here's some follow-up helps to getting there.

"Consider [your spouse] more signicant than yourself" means that my way is not the only way. One must stop and consider how the other one feels, thinks, acts, needs and take that not only into consideration but make it the foremost consideration. That's a lot of considering!

Let's be honest. Would we really say, directly and boldly, "Look, I'm more important than you are. It has to be my way"? Have we said that indirectly? (This is a good moment for personal reflection - don't redirect to your spouse!).

"Looking not only to our own interests but to the interests of [our spouse]" means I LOOK, I search out, I consciously think of ways to bless them.  Not to change them to what works best for me. To bless them.

We didn't marry ourselves.

Our spouses are different that us - and that's an amazing, fabulous thing! It helps change US, it expands our world, it enhances, enlivens and colors our life in unexpected ways. Celebrate that, encourage it, work with it.

"...doesn't keep record of being wronged". Such a big one. Forgive. Move on. Let go. Don't revisit it. Move forward, lean forward, press forward. Life is in front of you! Love is in front of you! It's never behind.

"Never give up...be always hopeful".

Repentance, forgiveness and grace are constant necessities in a healthy marriage. Without these, the battle to put ourselves first rages against our marriage.

Repentance turns me back towards my spouse, forgiveness opens my heart to them, and grace extends a bridge to their heart. They calm the storm with us and between us.

Friends, may you be united in the same Spirit, of one mind, in full accord, striving together side by side for your marriage. Love on!